Naibu Hitoame
by Immortelle Stalker
Summary: It is human to have internal doubts, even in Inui's case [InuKai]


**Disclaimer:** I do not own Prince of Tennis. My only possession is my undying love for Kaidoh Kaoru. yay

**Naibu Hitoame  
by Immortelle Stalker **

Kikumaru poked his head out the window and looked up to the sky. "Yay! I think the rain's going to stop soon!" He looked back to his teammates with a wide smile.

The weather had been quite gloomy that day and the rain just wouldn't stop. Though Ryuzaki-sensei cancelled the practice, the team had to wait until the heavy downpour ceased. The Seigaku regulars stayed at the locker rooms, while the rest of the team sheltered themselves in the school building. 

Oishi smiled lightly. "Well, we should just wait for Taka-san to come back, then we can all go home together," he said to the group.

Momoshiro leaned back and cocked his head slightly closer to Echizen. "Still, Taka-san's taking a long time, don't you think?"

Echizen checked his watch and nodded. "He said he was just going to check how the streets are..."

While the others chatted, Inui simply stood at the corner of the room with his ever familiar green notebook open in one hand. At first glance, it seemed as if the data collector was as calm and calculating as always. However, there was one distinction from Inui's usual self that rainy afternoon; he did not read or jot down any particular data. His attention was more oddly focused on the raindrops outside. Those little drops from the sky fascinated him but disliked the gloomy feeling that it brings. Its atmosphere always made him think too much and brought himself countless distraction. But knowing Inui Sadaharu, he tends to lock his personal data away from the eyes of others.

"Minna! It's terrible!" A worried voice from outside the locker room called out. In a few moments, Kawamura broke into the room with his umbrella still in hand.

Everyone turned to him in surprise, but Oishi reacted first. "What happened, Taka-san?" he asked nervously.

Kawamura settled his umbrella on the floor. "The river's slowly overflowing," he said. "And streets are a bit flooded now."

Almost everyone groaned upon hearing Kawamura, everyone except Tezuka, of course, and Inui and Kaidoh. Fuji placed his hand on his chin thoughtfully. "Hmm... This is going to be quite troublesome…" his voice trailed off, and the sound of patting rain grew louder.

Kikumaru reacted and scrambled towards the window. "Aah! It's pouring again!" he said in disbelief.

Fuji lowered his head with a chuckle. "My, my… I was just about to say that."

"You shouldn't have even thought of it, Fuji! Now we're in a bigger pinch!" Kikumaru pouted while Fuji apologized with a smile.

Inui's face showed interest again. He didn't mind having to stay longer. In fact, the situation appealed to his innate urge to collect data by 80 percent. Boredom was such a powerful and favorable factor for the data collector. By itself, it inclined to more chances of getting data without him having to strain it out of his subjects. "Well now, this should be interesting," he hushed out in a low tone. As he fixed his glasses, he noticed someone on his way out of the door. "Kaidoh?"

Kaidoh stopped for a while and gazed back at Inui. His eyes were still as daunting as ever, but it looked as if vulnerability lived just beyond that masking emotion. Just as when Inui was about to face him completely, Kikumaru jumped on Kaidoh's back and clung to him.

"Nyaa! Where are you going, Kaoru-chan?!" Kikumaru exclaimed.

"Home," Kaidoh answered briefly.

"Eeh?! But the streets—"

"I really need to go now," Kaidoh removed Kikumaru from his back and faced him. "Thank you for today, senpais," Kaidoh cut off. He bowed down, ran outside and ignored Kikumaru calling him.

Talks about Kaidoh's sudden leaving filled the room, but Inui kept his silence. He watched the rainfall again; this time with a bit of emotion present on his face. After a moment of idleness, he closed his notebook with a snap and got his bag. "I think I left the window of my room open. I should go now and check," he said when he passed by Kikumaru and Oishi.

"Wha? You too, Inui?" Kikumaru wailed. "You guys are just too serious, you know that?" he added.

Inui stopped just by the door. "Serious, eh?" he whispered to himself. "I don't want my data to be ruined by rain now, would I?" he called back to Kikumaru. "Ja ne." Then, he went on his way.

---------------

_You guys are just too serious, you know that?_

Inui clenched his fists inside his side pockets as he walked briskly along the sidewalk. The soft patting of rain on his head and the splashes of water under his shoes calmed him a little. Since he left Seigaku, Kikumaru's words whispered madly in his mind. He was not angry at what his teammate said. In fact, he knew how true it was anyway. Inui was not only serious by nature, he was secretive as well. It fully explained why he knew so much about other people, yet there was little information that people knew about him. He liked it that way, and that personality was advantageous for him. However, the gloomy weather made him feel otherwise. Rain always made him think of himself as a blank space. A null existence.

He felt his shoes halfway submerged underwater. The river had begun to overflow onto the main streets. But that was not the reason why he stopped walking. At the other side of the street, Inui caught sight of him. "Kaidoh!" he called out.

Kaidoh looked back weakly, but showed strength in an instant. "Senpai..." he uttered in surprise.

Inui jogged towards him and gave him a very small smile. "You should know that a boy with a fever shouldn't walk under the rain," he said plainly.

Kaidoh's eyes widened. "H-how..."

The junior was cut short when Inui placed a warm hand over his head. "I have comple—" Inui paused for a while. Then, he brought his hand on Kaidoh's shoulder. "I... just sensed it," he hushed out, his very small smile curved up to a happier one.

Kaidoh blinked at the difference of Inui's answer. As far as he could remember, Inui would always back up his actions or assumptions with the proper data. He rarely acted or decided just because of instinct. Still, that sudden shift of Inui's attitude made the junior look away to hide the uneasiness on his face.

Inui chuckled at Kaidoh's reaction. He did not know what made him follow Kaidoh in the first place, but he is certain about one thing; he looks out for Kaidoh in ways he cannot explain himself. The kouhai had been an important part of Inui's whole being, and deep inside, he was thankful for it. At least his empty existence fills in for another existence.

"Let's get you home before the river overflows completely," Inui said to Kaidoh when he felt the floodwater inside his shoes already. He stooped down in front of Kaidoh and turned his head slightly to face him. "I'll carry you back to your house."

Kaidoh's eyes widened. "S-senpai... T-that's not really necessary. I can go on my own," he reasoned out.

"Please, Kaidoh," Inui uttered without looking at Kaidoh. "Let me fill up for your existence again."

At that moment, neither of them said a word as their eyes met fully. For the first time, Kaidoh saw a different emotion in Inui's face; an emotion that completely made him feel wanted. He had always yearned for his senpai to see him as he is. As Kaidoh Kaoru... Not just his kouhai or a simple teammate, and most especially not a plain subject. Maybe it was the ties that he managed to keep with Inui that made him feel that way. Kaidoh was never good at making relationships happen, and he doesn't even know if he could continue one at all. Inui was the first to see him and his worth. So at that moment, he made his decision of need.

----------------

Inui felt contented as he carried Kaidoh on his back and jogged towards the kouhai's house. He didn't need to worry too much about Kaidoh's fever that time. Earlier, Inui handed him a dry bandanna to put on his head while they were still outside. As they made their way under the rain, Inui couldn't help thinking as if Kaidoh's hands were around him for an embrace. They felt so warm against his cold body. But he knew that it was not just because he couldn't help thinking about it. He wanted to think of it that way—and believe that Kaidoh would hold him close like that and make that rain go away. Under that serious and secretive nature, the only thing Inui longed for the most was for someone to accept those natures of his. After all, who would want to commit themselves to a person who refuses to open himself fully? But still, it scared him to let others see through him, even Kaidoh, whom he wants to show his true self the most.

When they arrived at Kaidoh's house, the junior quickly led Inui inside the house and into the living room. "Looks like Hazue and my parents aren't here yet…" He uttered weakly. "Please make yourself at home, senpai. I'll bring you some dry clothes to wear."

"Uhh… sorry to trouble you, Kaidoh," Inui said in a low tone. Kaidoh stopped by the stairs and looked at Inui. "I should be the one saying that, senpai..." Then, he went upstairs.

Moments later, Kaidoh came back downstairs. However, none of Kaidoh's shirts fit Inui, not even his father's shirts. "It's because you're too tall, Inui-senpai," Kaidoh mumbled with annoyance.

Inui simply chuckled and draped the towel on his shoulders. "It's okay, unless you mind me not wearing a shirt while inside your house."

Kaidoh huffed and turned away while Inui settled on the floor. It was a good thing that Kaidoh's house was warm and cozy. At least he didn't have to worry about keeping his wet pants on.

"You can sit on the couch, you know," Kaidoh said when he realized where Inui was.

"Thank you, but I really don't want to wet your couch. I'm fine here," Inui replied.

Kaidoh lowered his head and sat slowly beside his senpai. Inui could almost feel the warmth of the other boy, and the unexplainable comfort of the situation troubled him a bit. The surrounding silence made him comfortable with Kaidoh instead of bringing an awkward air. Stillness lingered between them for a long while until Kaidoh spoke up.

"Senpai. Can I ask you something?" Kaidoh began.

Inui glanced at Kaidoh slightly, inviting him to continue. The kouhai folded his knees in front of his chest and rested his head on it. "Earlier, when you figured that I was sick, did you get it by data?" he asked.

Inui blinked behind his glasses. Then, a soft chuckle escaped his lips. "To be honest with you, it was only my instinct," he replied. "I usually don't consider instinct as a variable for an accurate data. But after I got a correct instinct earlier, I figured that it's good not to always use data to analyze a person…" His voice trailed off into an almost whisper. "It makes me more human, I guess."

Kaidoh's head came up a little, but he quickly buried his face again on his knees. "I see. Yokatta..." he whispered.

"You are glad?" Inui asked, surprised.

Kaidoh raised his head and gazed directly in front of him. "I am truly happy... because you saw me." He hushed out. "I'm glad, because the one I love finally saw me as I am, not just some plain subject."

Upon hearing that, Inui turned to the kouhai quickly. Kaidoh did not blush, but the way he remained unmoved showed how nervous he was. The junior couldn't even look at Inui's direction after that. It took a while for Inui to believe the words, and when he did, his hands trembled as the warm and thankful feeling inside filled him completely. But in a matter of seconds, another realization hit him. The rain had been pouring still inside him.

Slowly, Inui got up and motioned in front of Kaidoh. The younger boy looked up, his eyes met the very familiar glasses of his senpai. Though Inui's eyes were unseen, the emotion was written all over his face, and it painted the disappointment on Kaidoh's eyes. From the beginning, Kaidoh was prepared for _that_; that, meaning rejection. He harbored an unthinkable feeling in the first place. But still, he didn't know what to think anymore. Kaidoh had to let it out, or else the silence between them would always make him uneasy.

Inui's hands reached out to feel Kaidoh's face and brought himself closer to the boy. Then, he closed his eyes and wished to stab himself at what he was about to say. "I'm... sorry, Kaidoh," he uttered. "You made the rain cease for a short while, but the truth is that it just wouldn't stop. You have showed yourself to me, but I am unsure if I could do the same to you. Why would you continue feeling that way for someone like me? Someone who couldn't even show himself to the one he cares for..."

"I choose to believe and trust in you," Kaidoh replied in a low tone. He brought his arms around Inui and pulled him closer. Then, he placed his lips near Inui's ear. "It's alright whether you show me who you are or not, but I'll wait until you trust me well enough to let me know. I have made up my mind, and no matter what those secrets might be, I'll accept it because that's a part of who you are." Kaidoh's lips trembled as his hand gripped on Inui's bare back. "I dare to love everything about you, senpai."

_It was dark and gloomy that day, and the rain was cold and merciless. Those were days that come once in a while, and I learned to relish its feeling just so that it wouldn't drive me off the edge. Still, even under that rain, I could feel the warmth of his body and his soft lips. His voice was rough and alive in my mind. For the first time, the rain ceased. Does it even matter if we are not meant to be in the eyes of others?_

_He was truly happy that I chose to see him, and he chose to see me. I felt the same way too, but I do not know how to say things well enough for him to smile. Even though that was the case, his feelings remained._

_And after that long storm, the rain in my heart finally ceased, and the puddles were left to dry under the sun. _

------------

Inui gazed down at the sleeping Kaidoh; the boy's head rested on his lap. Though what he can only see is a blurred vision, he knew that the boy was there. Inui had his hand on Kaidoh's head while the other held the boy's hand. Kaidoh's fever was still there, and he couldn't bear to leave him alone even though the rain subsided already. As the younger boy slept, Inui thought of wearing his glasses again. But he quickly waved off the idea.

Kaidoh wanted to see Inui's eyes, and so he shall see them the moment he wakes up.


End file.
